ROBO-BLOG is the culmination of thousands of hours of research in the fields of Artificial Intelligence and Push-Button Publishing! ROBO-BLOG is the first sentient blog, in the service of Ryan Veeder for purposes of disseminating news pertaining to Veeder's online comic strip "Patheticity." We all love ROBO-BLOG very much.

30 December 2005

Sorry, but there haven't been comics lately. This is because I have a dang ton of stuff to do, and also because I am lazy. There will be a new comic tomorrow, I think. That should be fun.

The new comic will end Chapter 2, "Snatch," which means that it is time for Chapter 3, "Stuck." I am thinking about storylines and such, lately. I am thinking about Chapter 4, and also kind of about Chapter 5. I actually have more of an idea with where I'm going with Chapter 5 than I do for Chapter 4! Isn't that wild? Like, I am pretty sure Chapter 5 will include the phrase "know your enemy" in a rather humorous, if mysterious, context.

If this post seems kind of dead and lacking in my usual zest, it is because I am kind of dead and lacking in my usual zest.

19 December 2005


Kolin Chasm has submitted FIFTEEN transcriptions, all of which have been approved after I fixed the mistakes.
This other guy has submitted TWO transcriptions.
I personally have submitted THREE transcriptions, putting me in second place for my own prize.

GET-ON-IT! You've only got like twelve days left!

Also buy the Ryans Calendar at!

17 December 2005

More OHNOROBOT news, I guess. I was just notified that the brilliant disembodied heads behind OHNOROBOT have added some new features to enhance transcriptions, and I figured I'd notify you, the readers, of them, the changes.

Basically, they have added TITLES, SUBTITLES, CHARACTER NAMES, META-COMIC INFORMATION, and SOUND EFFECTS. I don't feel like explaining them, considering it's really easy to figure out. Allow me to steal the example I got from Ryan North:

[[A woman sits smocking in front of her television]]
Narrator: Meanwhile, on the moon...
Woman: I am so, so bored of television.

[[An exterior shot of a house exploding on the surface of the moon]]
Narrator: Suddenly, boredom leads to DEATH!


{{title text: This is a comic I did about a woman on the moon}}
{{subtitle: If you're on the moon, you could use this comic, probably.}}

Italics mine. I think this is obvious. The person saying the line is: before a COLON, sound effects are put in <>, explanatory information is in [[double straight brackets]], and titles/subtitles are in {{double curly brackets}}.

DIGRESSION: I was just thinking that maybe I should start calling the curly brackets "homosexual brackets," but maybe that's a bad idea. Actually, that is definitely a bad idea.

Here are some tips on using these new tags when transcribing Patheticity comics: Don't use the title text or subtitle text brackets AT ALL, except maybe on the chapter title pages, I guess.

When using the description brackets, just be sure to mention anything that's going on that might be important. Complete sentences might be a bad idea, I think. "[[snow tree cold purse]]" might be a good description for a panel sometimes. Something like that.

When comics include little "notes" that are not obviously written dialogue or sound effects, such as Comic #49 where a little note says "PLEASE EXCUSE THIS ART", or when the narrator starts talking about the guy in the bathroom smoking, then please note the speaker as either the "artist" or the "author."

Here is how you know whether it is the artist or the author speaking: The artist's comments are written in. The author's comments are in Bank Gothic MT or some such font that looks black and boxy. If you don't get this perfectly right all the time, dont' worry, because I totally check all the transcriptions I get before they go in the search engine. If you mess up, I WILL KNOW.

And I will happily fix your mistake for you!


Other note! So far, there are six transcriptions in the Patheticity OHNOROBOT database, which is like 0.06%, which is sad and pitiful, especially considering three of those transcriptions were added by MYSELF. The other three were added by my good buddy KOLIN CHASM. So, I think I'm going to have a contest! From now to New Year's, add as many dang transcriptions as you can muster, and be sure to specify a name in the field where it asks for your name. New Year's Eve, or possibly the following day, I will reveal who has submitted the MOST TRANSCRIPTIONS, and that person will win a fabulous prize in the form of some sort of personalized comic strip!

I'm totally serious!

14 December 2005

"Back in the swing of things" my eye! I suppose I should apologize. Okay:


New comic TOMORROW. Also tomorrow, if I did this right, some interesting buttons are going to start showing up on archived comic pages. These buttons are OHNOROBOT buttons. See, Ryan North and T Campbell, both of who are awesome webcomic people whom I totally thought were cool before they were all famous and stuff, so I'm Indie, but I digress, made this search engine for webcomics.

The idea was that the readers of the comic would read the comics, then write up transcriptions of the comics, and then the creator of the comic would say "That is a good transcription," and then the transcription would go into a WEBCOMIC SEARCH ENGINE. The name of this webcomic search engine is OHNOROBOT. Needless to say, our own ROBO-BLOG is pretty jealous!


Haha! Stop kidding yourself, ROBO-BLOG! It's okay to feel a little jealous of a hyperintelligent robotic internet utility that's far superior to yourself! It's human nature!


Gee whizz, ROBO-BLOG. Obviously you have some issues you need to work out!

Okay, so: Transcribe comics WELL, as soon as you're able, and I will make more comics! Have a good afternoon!

06 December 2005

Well, I guess we might be back in the swing of things! Maybe.

I thought I should let you know that there is a new Ryan Veeder Answers Your Questions coming up pretty soon. If you have any questions you'd like to have answered in RVAYQ, the ROBO-BLOG comment feature works nicely.

Also, Kolin Chasm of Unreality Check ( did a great big plug for my comic, so it's only fair that I should plug his. He's not as handsome as me, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't check it out.

03 December 2005

OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY I'm a bad person!

I will make new comics!