ROBO-BLOG

2006-08-22T15:47:00.000-07:00

>_

WELCOME-TO-ROBO-BLOG

RETRIEVING-MESSAGE

AUTOMATED-ROBO-POST-RETRIEVED

ROBO-BLOG-REGRETFULLY-(AND-AUTOMATICALLY)-INFORMS-YOU

PATHETICITY-IS-NO-LONGER-UPDATING

AUTHOR-UNIT-CAN-ENDURE-NO-LONGER-ABYSMAL-ART

HOWEVER

AUTHOR-UNIT-CURRENTLY-SEEKS-ARTIST

UPON-PROCUREMENT-OF-WILLING-SUBJECT

PATHETICITY-WILL-(HOPEFULLY)-RETURN

ROBO-POST COMPLETE

>_

2006-02-02T09:40:00.000-08:00

Page one will appear to-morrow, and page two shortly thereafter! I feel really good about this! I am having mood swings.

2006-01-31T17:46:00.000-08:00

There is not going to be any dang Tales of the Burger Tsar. Yet. I am going to do the dang Chapter 3--pretty dang soon. I have the scripts for enough stuff to get going. I just need to get out of this thing I'm in. I seem to be in what we in what we call "The Biz" call a "rut." I need some chocolate, or something.

2006-01-29T13:45:00.000-08:00

Okay before I do Chapter 3 I'm going to do a little something in between! To flesh out the setting, or something. It will be called "Tales of the Burger Tsar," and it will be pretty great, even though it will involve the FoppyKing and Kolin Chasm characters and their friends instead of Jab and his friends. Coming sooner than you think.

2006-01-19T05:38:00.000-08:00

UPDATE
FOR ALL MY FANS

FoppyKing and Kolin Chasm have both told me it's okay if I don't make a little comic about them, but rather INSERT them into CHAPTER 3 as minor (but very funny!) characters. The exact nature of these minor characters is a SECRET.

On Chapter 3: I have the scripts for 8 pages now. 8 pages of 12 panels each is like SIXTEEN of the former 6-panel strips. Those were strips. These are pages. Preliminary outlining indicates that there will be something like twenty pages, so we're at... 40%. We should make a little status bar, like Piro used to have, before he just decided not to update at all.

Chapter 3 promises to be prettier and better than Chapters 1 and 2 combined! We now enter Patheticity: YEAR TWO.

2006-01-12T09:24:00.000-08:00

I am not kidding you even in the slightest degree when I say that I am about to release PATHETICITY ACTION FIGURES. I am totally serious. I am as serious as a Supreme Court nominee. I am releasing Patheticity action figures, and they will cost you only a PENNY, and you will be able to instantly recieve them over your internet connection.

Just click HERE
http://saxamaphone.fobby.net/?t=getfile&id=8887
(pdf, 664 kb)

Or HERE
http://saxamaphone.fobby.net/?t=getfile&id=8886
(jpg, 1.2 mb)

And print the picture out.

Then fold the paper in half.

Then cut out each of the characters, leaving some room around their feet.

Then glue the insides (If you don't know what side is the inside, I don't know what to tell you) together, except for the little room around the feet.

Then glue the little area below the feet to a PENNY, to provide stability.

Then send me pictures.

ACTIONS SHOTS SOON!

2006-01-07T14:41:00.000-08:00

I'm going to make it official and say that Patheticity is on HIATUS (say: "Hi, Atticus!") until I figure out Chapter 3 completely. I did almost all the scripts for Chapter 2 beforehand and it turned out really great, so I think that is a good direction to go in.

Terms to define:
HIATUS

Discussion questions:
Why is Ryan postponing the strip? Would you have done the same thing if you were Ryan and you had a ton of stupid school stuff to worry about? Why or why not?

2006-01-01T09:33:00.000-08:00

Happy new year! Happy nude year.

The winner of the Patheticity Ohnorobot Transcription Contest is:

KOLIN CHASM
AND
FOPPYKING

Chasm and FK were the only people besides me to submit any transcriptions, so they totally win a short little comic with them in it!

Now, there are 39 comics transcribed, which means there are like 60 comics that have not been transcribed. GET MOVING.

Coming soon: other cool stuff!

2005-12-30T18:53:00.000-08:00

Sorry, but there haven't been comics lately. This is because I have a dang ton of stuff to do, and also because I am lazy. There will be a new comic tomorrow, I think. That should be fun.

The new comic will end Chapter 2, "Snatch," which means that it is time for Chapter 3, "Stuck." I am thinking about storylines and such, lately. I am thinking about Chapter 4, and also kind of about Chapter 5. I actually have more of an idea with where I'm going with Chapter 5 than I do for Chapter 4! Isn't that wild? Like, I am pretty sure Chapter 5 will include the phrase "know your enemy" in a rather humorous, if mysterious, context.

If this post seems kind of dead and lacking in my usual zest, it is because I am kind of dead and lacking in my usual zest.

2005-12-19T09:39:00.000-08:00

TRANSCRIPTION CONTEST UPDATE:

Kolin Chasm has submitted FIFTEEN transcriptions, all of which have been approved after I fixed the mistakes.
This other guy has submitted TWO transcriptions.
I personally have submitted THREE transcriptions, putting me in second place for my own prize.

GET-ON-IT! You've only got like twelve days left!

Also buy the Ryans Calendar at www.ryancomics.com!

2005-12-17T12:31:00.000-08:00

More OHNOROBOT news, I guess. I was just notified that the brilliant disembodied heads behind OHNOROBOT have added some new features to enhance transcriptions, and I figured I'd notify you, the readers, of them, the changes.

Basically, they have added TITLES, SUBTITLES, CHARACTER NAMES, META-COMIC INFORMATION, and SOUND EFFECTS. I don't feel like explaining them, considering it's really easy to figure out. Allow me to steal the example I got from Ryan North:

[[A woman sits smocking in front of her television]]
Narrator: Meanwhile, on the moon...
Woman: I am so, so bored of television.

[[An exterior shot of a house exploding on the surface of the moon]]
Narrator: Suddenly, boredom leads to DEATH!
<>

{{title text: This is a comic I did about a woman on the moon}}
{{subtitle: If you're on the moon, you could use this comic, probably.}}

Italics mine. I think this is obvious. The person saying the line is: before a COLON, sound effects are put in <>, explanatory information is in [[double straight brackets]], and titles/subtitles are in {{double curly brackets}}.

DIGRESSION: I was just thinking that maybe I should start calling the curly brackets "homosexual brackets," but maybe that's a bad idea. Actually, that is definitely a bad idea.

Here are some tips on using these new tags when transcribing Patheticity comics: Don't use the title text or subtitle text brackets AT ALL, except maybe on the chapter title pages, I guess.

When using the description brackets, just be sure to mention anything that's going on that might be important. Complete sentences might be a bad idea, I think. "[[snow tree cold purse]]" might be a good description for a panel sometimes. Something like that.

When comics include little "notes" that are not obviously written dialogue or sound effects, such as Comic #49 where a little note says "PLEASE EXCUSE THIS ART", or when the narrator starts talking about the guy in the bathroom smoking, then please note the speaker as either the "artist" or the "author."

Here is how you know whether it is the artist or the author speaking: The artist's comments are written in. The author's comments are in Bank Gothic MT or some such font that looks black and boxy. If you don't get this perfectly right all the time, dont' worry, because I totally check all the transcriptions I get before they go in the search engine. If you mess up, I WILL KNOW.

And I will happily fix your mistake for you!

RIGHT BEFORE I BAN YOU FROM THE INTERNET.

Other note! So far, there are six transcriptions in the Patheticity OHNOROBOT database, which is like 0.06%, which is sad and pitiful, especially considering three of those transcriptions were added by MYSELF. The other three were added by my good buddy KOLIN CHASM. So, I think I'm going to have a contest! From now to New Year's, add as many dang transcriptions as you can muster, and be sure to specify a name in the field where it asks for your name. New Year's Eve, or possibly the following day, I will reveal who has submitted the MOST TRANSCRIPTIONS, and that person will win a fabulous prize in the form of some sort of personalized comic strip!

I'm totally serious!

2005-12-14T11:03:00.000-08:00

"Back in the swing of things" my eye! I suppose I should apologize. Okay:

Sorry.

New comic TOMORROW. Also tomorrow, if I did this right, some interesting buttons are going to start showing up on archived comic pages. These buttons are OHNOROBOT buttons. See, Ryan North and T Campbell, both of who are awesome webcomic people whom I totally thought were cool before they were all famous and stuff, so I'm Indie, but I digress, made this search engine for webcomics.

The idea was that the readers of the comic would read the comics, then write up transcriptions of the comics, and then the creator of the comic would say "That is a good transcription," and then the transcription would go into a WEBCOMIC SEARCH ENGINE. The name of this webcomic search engine is OHNOROBOT. Needless to say, our own ROBO-BLOG is pretty jealous!

I-AM-NOT

Haha! Stop kidding yourself, ROBO-BLOG! It's okay to feel a little jealous of a hyperintelligent robotic internet utility that's far superior to yourself! It's human nature!

I-AM-NOT-A-HUMAN
HUMAN-EMOTION-IS-A-SIGN-OF-WEAKNESS

Gee whizz, ROBO-BLOG. Obviously you have some issues you need to work out!

Okay, so: Transcribe comics WELL, as soon as you're able, and I will make more comics! Have a good afternoon!

2005-12-06T05:57:00.000-08:00

Well, I guess we might be back in the swing of things! Maybe.

I thought I should let you know that there is a new Ryan Veeder Answers Your Questions coming up pretty soon. If you have any questions you'd like to have answered in RVAYQ, the ROBO-BLOG comment feature works nicely.

Also, Kolin Chasm of Unreality Check (http://unrealitycheck.keenspace.com) did a great big plug for my comic, so it's only fair that I should plug his. He's not as handsome as me, but that doesn't mean you shouldn't check it out.

2005-12-03T15:00:00.000-08:00

OKAY OKAY OKAY OKAY I'm a bad person!

I will make new comics!

Soon!

Sorry!

2005-11-22T14:23:00.000-08:00

I'll tell you why there aren't new comics! There aren't new comics because I left my USB data key thing with all the uploading software on it at school! And I'm not about to go back to get it. They hate me back there.

So just hold your horses!

2005-11-17T18:18:00.000-08:00

ROBO-BLOG-MESSAGE-FOLLOWS

TONIGHT
MIDNIGHT
SITE-REVAMP-GOES-UP
EXTRAS-PAGE-FIXED
IMPORTANT-THINGS-PAGE-REPLACED-WITH-BRILLIANT-FAQ-COMIC
CAST-PAGE-SLIGHTLY-ALTERED
MAIN-PAGE-NOT-AS-STUPID

ALSO

NEW-COMIC

GOODNIGHT

2005-11-16T05:50:00.000-08:00

I still don't have access to the computer I need to use to update with comics, so you're going to have to wait A LITTLE BIT MORE.

A LITTLE BIT.

2005-11-14T05:50:00.000-08:00

And a week later: STILL NO COMICS. Sorry, man.

But last night, I drew two and a half comics, which, added to the half comic I drew a few days ago, is THREE COMICS. These will soon be telepathically beamed to your computer screens.

Also, I am working on a little extra thing to replace that stupid IMPORTANT THINGS THAT YOU SHOULD KNOW essay. I think I am going to turn that page into a sort of Answers to Reader Questions column, except I'm going to make up the first question.

*SPOILERS*

The first question comes from PEDRO in IDAHO. The question is: How does "time travel" function in the Patheticity universe? (I thought of this whole thing while watching Back to the Future III on MoviePlex.) The answer may suprise you!

*/SPOILERS*

Okay so! Look out for new comics! Coming your way!

2005-11-08T09:23:00.000-08:00

I would like to apologize for not holding up to my promise of a comic on Monday! I have yet to get back into the SWING of comicing, and plus I need a new sketchbook to hold all my draw-rings.

I think I'm going to do a little something extra for you guys! I think!

2005-11-03T13:43:00.000-08:00

OKAY I'M SORRY! I'm sorry there haven't been comics lately! I've been busy with the play. The play is like a little girl, you see? This little girl follows me around everywhere, and when I consider doing a comic, she yells and screams and throws a fit. This is not a mature little girl.

Tonight, me and this little girl have to get up on a stage and do a show for a bunch of people, including some people that I like. I have to pretend I'm much nerdier and more insecure than I really am. I have to ACT. While I act, the little girl just sings dances around and does whatever she wants. I attempt to make this little girl behave, all the time trying to stay in character, but it is in vain. She is uncontrollable!

I must dance with this little girl tonight, and tomorrow night, and Saturday afternoon, and Saturday night. After Saturday night, the little girl and I will go to a party for all the cast members to get together and drink pop and eat pizza. The little girl will follow me around even then, interrupting conversations I will try to have with cool people. I will glare warningly at the little girl, but everyone else will smile and say that she is a sweet little girl, that she and I were great up there on that black womb of a stage, that I should be proud of her, and that she looks just like me. I will scream inwardly.

Then, at midnight, I will walk outside to admire the stars. The little girl will follow me, of course, but I will not mind. As my gaze moves down from those perfect shining spheres, that dang little girl will look up at me.

And now she is growing! Her hair falls out of its pigtails! Her freckles disappear; the gleam of innocence in her eyes is replaced by the germ of cynicism. The true meaning of our charade dawns on her, and her mouth opens in sudden understanding. Puberty gives way to adolescence; standing before me is a beautiful young woman. I smile at her. She smiles back, but she has misunderstood: her aging has not ceased.

Now she is really a woman. She looks down on me and smiles again, knowing that she has gained the upper hand. But I smile broader! Wrinkles begin to spread like the branches of an old, dead tree. A gray hair falls in front of her eyes; she waves it impatiently out of the way. Now she is shrinking. Her face is small and helpless. Her eyes are empty even of malice. Her mouth opens, but only dust escapes her lips. Dust! Now she is dust. The atoms blow away into the light of the streetlamps. I am free.

Wish me luck, guys! New comics next week, I think!

2005-10-29T18:18:00.000-07:00

Okay, once again the comic postponed to Saturday is postponed to Sunday because, after I worked very hard to get it done, I forgot to upload it.

Cool thing: Patheticity is officially a comic made by a guy named Ryan! It was always a comic by a guy named Ryan, but now it's official.

2005-10-27T19:58:00.000-07:00

It's 9:58 and I'm not finished with this Biology paper yet. The comic will show up tomorrow. Maybe I should change the schedule to Monday-Wednesday-Saturday.

2005-10-22T06:49:00.000-07:00

Heheh! Here's what happened Friday night:

I remembered I had to make a comic for Saturday! So I got my sketchbook out and sharpened five new pencils and lit the ceremonial candles and everything. Then I realized I had left the notebook containing all of my scripts for this storyline at school!

I began dictating a message to ROBO-BLOG explaining that the comic would not appear, because I didn't have my script to work from. Then I remembered that being very near the end of the storyline, all I had to do was remember the last comic, then the comic before that, and so on until I got to #90.

This turned out to work perfectly, because I ended up remembering most of my original script. I drew the comic! I scanned it in! I Foto-chopped it together!

Then I tried to upload it. My dang connection was down! I couldn't get it uploaded!

So the comic will appear tomorrow.

2005-10-20T17:42:00.000-07:00

Important message from ROBO-BLOG follows:

RYAN-IS-VERY-BUSY

WITH-THE-PLAY

HE-IS-SORRY

THERE-WILL-NOT-BE-A-COMIC-TO-MORROW

BUT-PROBABLY-SATURDAY

RYAN-SAYS-HE-LOVES-YOU

HE-HASTENS-TO-ADD

IN-A-PURELY-AUTHOR-SLASH-FANBASE-SORT-OF-WAY

Ryan recently reprogrammed ROBO-BLOG to put a hyphen in "To-morrow"! He thinks it's pretty cute.

2005-10-02T14:41:00.000-07:00

You guys had better watch out! You'd better watch out, because there will be comics on MONDAY, WEDNESDAY, and FRIDAY of this coming week! And then the following Monday, there will be another comic! We might be on the regular schedule again...?

Now, as far as Patheticity goes, all that is left is to get the fanart all fixed up, fix the mainpage layout, make a decent IMPORTANT THINGS TO KNOW essay for once, and get finished with this dang storyline.

We came through okay!

2005-09-26T18:35:00.000-07:00

Guys! I'm really sorry there haven't been comics lately. I got the lead role in the school play, which means that all my weekday afternoons are spent in a dark room, getting up in front of a difficult-to-please man who tells me how to pretend to be someone that I'm not! It is disturbingly similar to society.

Add that to all the insane stuff I've told you about before, and you can see why I'm not updating regularly (not updating at all!). I wish I could make it up to you, somehow, but doing that takes time, too, and time is one thing I don't have.

Comic #100 will not appear on the twenty-eighth of october, nor will it be replaced on that day with an amusing image that would hilariously make light of your expectations. Comic #100 will not appear on Halloween, as I had been planning all along, as a big suprise for all of my fans. Comic #100 will appear eventually, but before that, comic #82 will appear, followed shortly by comics 83 through 99.

Like I said, I'd do some other wacky thing to appease your hungry maws in the absence of the comic, but I don't have the dang time! Maybe in November, when the play is over, I'll get you a present. Or something. I don't know.

Sorry!

2005-09-17T17:02:00.000-07:00

Look for comic #80 tomorrow! This is an important one, you guys. And following that, we've only got 20 to go before the 100th, which as you all know is slated for the 28th of October.

Pretty intense!

2005-09-13T17:00:00.000-07:00

School started, and the comic took a back seat to everything, including showers. Remember items A, B, C, and D? Well, they have been brought together to form Item Seven. Item Seven is lower on the priority list than Advanced Placement Biology, a business manager position at the school newspaper, the lead role in the school play, an infinity of incredibly irritating college planning things, my senior pictures (which would, in a sane world, be the last thing on my mind), and everything else, including showers.

The comic itself, despite its position below personal hygiene, is still above Item Seven, which is why comic number seventy-nine will show up tomorrow morning. Comic number eighty would show up the day afterward, except that it is one of those huge, incredibly gratifying 21-panel suckers, and it won't be ready for a while. I think that, given the context, you can very easily discern what, if anything, the phrase "a while" means here.

This does not mean the comic is really going to slow down that much! Updates will probably be missed, but that will be rectified. We will get through this storyline. We will view the stunning battle between Jab Blaine and the replicant that has replaced him. We will eventually see Jab without a wig.

Or would you like something concrete? I'll give you something concrete. Comic number one hundred, the big triple digit, will appear on October Twenty-Eighth. Barring that, I will cease to exist.

2005-08-28T14:13:00.000-07:00

A few updates!

School starts for me on TUESDAY. That's why we're going back to normal schedule; I want to get this story over with but I also want to GET GOOD GRADES. My desire for good grades outstrips my desire for a new storyline.

Now, I have gotten some complaints lately. Complaints mostly pertaining to the EXTRAS page, where there are the following problems:

A: What's drawing (excellent drawing!) is a dead link.
B: I never told anyone that What's drawing and SimonBob/CodPor's comic was up.
C: I have not put up my friend Aaron's new fanart.
D: I need to put up more Desert Animals (Seriously, someone requested that I put up more Desert Animals. No lie.)

I will take care of these things. I will take care of them AFTER I have gotten done with the Odyssey and the accompanying assignments. I need to get this done before school starts! When I finish that, the new top priorities will be items A, B, C, and D. Since I've got to finish the Oddysey stuff before Tuesday, it stands to reason that the other things will be done... Shortly afterward.

Less important things:

I made another decision about chapter divisions, as if you care. The first 45-ish comics are in chapter 1, "Pals." Starting where Pals ends and continuing to the end of this storyline is chapter 2, "Snatch." So, if you're keeping track, or anything, that's what it is. I'll tell you for sure what the division is when I feel like telling you.

I'd like to get some feedback about storylines and stuff. What, plot-wise, was cool? What was dumb? What would you like to see? Et cetera?

2005-08-22T19:30:00.000-07:00

Okay, folks, here's the game plan: Comics every day from Tuesday to Friday, then nothing on Saturday and Sunday, and then Monday we start back on the Mon-Wed-Fri schedule. Got it?

2005-08-15T16:43:00.000-07:00

Man, are you guys the luckiest webcomic readers ever? Maybe! Because starting tomorrow, Patheticity is updating every single day. Every single day! This is because the current storyline isn't ending any time soon, and I don't want to wait two and a half months for my brilliant ideas to come to fruition. Thus: faster updates! Even on weekends!

For how long, you ask? Well, at least until the 21st, because I uploaded comics up to that date today. But tomorrow, I'll be making even more comics, and the day after that, I'll be making even more, so probably we'll be going well into next month. I already have scripts for about thirty comics; that is a full month of every-day comics if I keep this streak alive.

So! My recent not-updating is totally atoned for! Great.

2005-08-11T14:45:00.000-07:00

Well, there goes that idea. Various reasons for no comics lately, like Driver's Ed and working more on t-shirts than anything else. Sorry! Next week will be better! I hope!

2005-08-06T18:36:00.000-07:00

I'm going to add some chapter titles to the archives, to create the sense that I have some structure going on. This doesn't matter to you, as you've probably read all of them, but I thought of a little game for you to play. Guess which comics are the beginning of which chapters:

Chapter 1: Holiday
Chapter 2: Typical
Chapter 3: Comrade
Chapter 4: Trauma
Chapter 5: Snatch

I'll give you a hint: Chapter 1 starts with comic #1! That wasn't a hint, it was an answer. Oh well!

2005-08-03T11:20:00.000-07:00

So things seem to have gotten back into the groove, as it were. As it were! I'm much more confident now about getting everything done in the last weeks of summer that I need to get done, and that means I don't feel guilty working on Patheticity instead of reading The Oddysey.

So what else is left? I'd like to get that Road Trip series restarted like I was going to, and get more of that extra content I promised going. Is there anything you'd like to see? Are you aware that over the course of several months, I have gotten no more feedback on the comic than "That one's my favorite"? Doesn't that bother you? It bothers me.

2005-07-29T18:20:00.000-07:00

Well, now everything is working right for some reason. Not everything, but enough that I won't have to go into hiatus! New comic Monday, probably? Probably.

How do you pronounce hiatus?

HECK-IF-I-KNOW

2005-07-26T08:07:00.000-07:00

Okay, here's #60 for real. You have to click on it or something. Watch out, it's pretty huge. Because it's pretty awesome.

You know what? I'm starting to think there's a lot more crazy stuff going on than I initially thought! I'm starting to think it's all just insane.

The problem with images may have to do with Keenspace (now "Comic Genesis," or "ComicGen," or something), or it may have to do with my FTP program, or it might just be my firewall, for some reason. I have no idea. But I'm starting to consider that maybe KeenSpace isn't meeting my needs. You know?

But I can't think of any other hosting that would be easy/cheap enough for a seventeen-year-old kid who lives with his parents and isn't as good at the Internet as you might think he is. So I'm having other ideas. Like a mailing list? Or publishing the comic from this blog?

These ideas don't do much for the extra content I work pretty hard on, though. What would be really nice, so nice that it's unrealistic for me to hope for it, would be if one of my kind and generous readers let me use a bit of their webspace.

I'm not begging, or really even asking, and nobody should go out of their way to help me. However, until I can fix this, I'm afraid Patheticity is going to be on another hiatus. This will at least give me a chance to get the story under control (I'm going to make a CALENDAR), and maybe even do the homework I've been putting off all Summer.

2005-07-26T04:36:00.000-07:00

Listen carefully to me! This is important.

Something is super-wrong with my system. There is something very wonky going on. Last night I uploaded the pictures and HTML for my travelogue: You can see it now from the main page. EXCEPT all the pictures are broken. This is because I had them all referring to patheticity.keenspace.net, which does not exist. Well, I fixed that, but they still don't show up, because they're the same tiny 1x1 pixel buggers I encountered before when making buttons!

What's worse is: The new comic is up, but it's got "errors." I don't know what the heck these "errors" are, but that's what it says it's got. I don't know if this is the same problem I've been having with the other images. I don't know anything.

I think the problem might be with my FTP program, which sucks. If it's not that, it's a problem with Keenspace, and they might know something. I'll check their help forum, but in the meantime: Any good FTP programs around?

2005-07-23T17:34:00.000-07:00

Gee whiz you guys! I didn't get any guest comics! I didn't get them on time, at least. I couldn't check my email a lot, so I didn't know! Also I couldn't upload Comic #60!

(TIME PASSES.)

You can: CLICK HERE to see a tiny thumbnail of #60; this is an artifact of my failed attempt to upload the comic to Blogger Images on someone else's computer so that the comic could be seen without my actually officially uploading it. It is uploaded now, hoorah, and will appear tomorrow. It is a big, long comic, one that might even make up for my week-long absence.

I actually did get one guest comic. I didn't see it, what with being gone. It was pretty good; I will add it to the Extras page, along with another piece of fan art. You guys are great! So great!

Where was I, for a week? Well, you will have to wait for my ComicCon Journal to find out. But I will give you a hint: I was not at ComicCon. At all.

2005-07-10T17:21:00.000-07:00

Hey, guys! What's up?

NOT-MUCH-HOW-ABOUT-YOU

I wasn't talking to you, Robo-Blog! I was talking to all my fans out there in Internet land!

I-KNEW-THAT
I-WAS-ATTEMPTING-TO-GAIN-YOUR-ATTENTION

Why's that, Robo-Blog?

YOU-HAVE-NOT-INTERACTED-WITH-ME
AS-OF-LATE

That's because I'm busy making Patheticity comics!

I-REALIZE-PATHETICITY-IS-OF-HIGHER-PRIORITY

And sitting around on my butt watching television! Okay, Robo-Blog, I've got some news for my fans, so you need to shut up.

First of all, I fixed the buttons on the main page. I fixed them by deleting them out of existence. I just highlighted all the HTML and just hit that delete key and got rid of them. Then I replaced it with a brief introduction to the comic and website for new viewers, because I'm a nice guy.

I also redid the Important Things essay again. I'll never be happy with that dang thing.

And there is some important news for you, the readers! Next week (July 18-22), I'm taking a vacation from comics, like Garry Trudeau. Since I'm not about to run old Patheticities over again, I'm asking you, the readers to submit guest strips! I'll take the good ones and let everyone see them! Guest strips should be sent via "e-mail" to andrew dot irony at gmail dot com. Don't worry about file size: gmail gives me over two gigs of space! They love me!

Deadline for guest strips is Wednesday! Don't be late, or I'll just put up more Desert Animals!

2005-07-03T16:00:00.000-07:00

I was almost done with tomorrow's comic when I realized that the storyline I had been planning out does not make any sense. It was poorly planned! I'm sorry! There will be a new comic, a new sense-making comic, eventually.

Also there are some more extra-Patheticity comics by me coming up, including one about Star Wars, and one about my TV show. I'm also going to restart Road Trip. This time, Road Trip will have bigger pages, better art, and it will be better. I have high hopes.

2005-06-29T10:46:00.000-07:00

Today's comic is going to be late. My connection still has not recovered from whatever was plaguing it that fateful Saturday night. Therefore I am warning you, the readers, that you should not expect comics on schedule for a while. Of course, I will be doing my best (whatever that is) to get comics done early so that the sporadic connection becomes less of a problem. I already have Friday's comic done.

In other news: I got some fan art! This guy just came up to my door around lunch time and gave it to me. It was so cool! No, it's not creepy; I know him. I'll ask his permission, then I'll upload it.

2005-06-22T19:03:00.000-07:00

Sorry about that! The late updates are not my fault! See, me and my family went up to the lake for a few days. As we were leaving, I was on and off the computer, trying to upload the comics for Monday and today (The comics you are missing). However, the dang blasted internet wasn't working for me, and I had to leave with the comics still sitting around on my USB thing. I would have warned you guys about late comics, but I couldn't.

I couldn't do anything about it!

So the comics will appear tomorrow and Friday. In other news, I still can't figure out what's wrong with the buttons on the front page. The updated pages at http://patheticity.keenspace.com/cast.html, /important.html,
/archive.html, and /extra.html are up and running, though. You can go check them out if you want. I made new pictures and slightly different bios for the cast page, and added a long inane essay to the Important Things page.

The problem with the buttons, for those who care, is that for some reason they are all appearing as tiny 1x1 pixel buggers that you can't see or click on. I think that's the problem. It's hard to tell. If anyone has experience with this sort of thing, they should use the "comment" feature of Blogger to help me please help me. Please.

2005-06-16T09:07:00.000-07:00

Well! The Patheticity site seems to have updated itself pretty well...

...Except that the BUTTONS FOR THE EXTRA CONTENT PAGES ARE MISSING! I worked really hard on these new buttons for you, my fans, to click, and now they're not there! ROBO-BLOG! What's the deal?

IT'S-THAT-DANG-AUTO-KEEN-THING
THE-UPDATER-DIDN'T-WORK
SORRY-NOT-MY-FAULT

Somehow, I doubt that, ROBO-BLOG. AutoKeen is a miracle of some sort of coding.

SO-AM-I

Well, it's not MY fault that the buttons aren't there, is it?

ACTUALLY-IT-MIGHT-BE

Well, I'll look into it.

Edit of a few minutes later: The problem seems to be that, while the images used to create the buttons are there, they do not actually exist. Something like that.

2005-06-15T08:37:00.000-07:00

Hello! This is Ryan Veeder, and THIS is ROBO-BLOG! The next generation in web logging! ROBO-BLOG is not only a "blog," he is also a robot. An "Artificial Intelligence," if you will. Say hello, ROBO-BLOG!

HELLO-RYAN-HOW-ARE-YOU

I'm just fine, ROBO-BLOG. Say, ROBO-BLOG, what do you think of the long-running webcomic Cat and Girl?

IT-IS-VERY-WELL-DRAWN
ALSO-DOROTHY-GAMBRELL'S-UNIQUE-WRITING-STYLE-MAKES-FOR-
-THOUGHT-PROVOKING-YET-HUMOROUS-READING

You're absolutely right, ROBO-BLOG. Well, that's all for today. We'll be back soon to give you actual news about the comic. Say goodnight, ROBO-BLOG!

GOOD-NIGHT-ROBO-BLOG